Death in March
by Smoooth Henry
This is a one-act play I wrote with my brother about three years ago. I was 18 and he was 6. It's called "Death in March". He is responsible for most of the word choice. I guided the plot in order to teach him the important lesson that looks aren't everything. Recommended bedtime reading to your younger children.


Ugly guy - Daniel
Pretty girl - Noam
Bad Guy - Aba

(Synopsis: Ugly guy wants to marry the girl, but he thinks he is too ugly for her. Also, the bad guy looks better and he thinks the girl likes him. So he dresses up to be someone else, but in the end the girl likes the ugly guy. And they live happily ever after. And the bad guy dies.)


Ugly: La la la, Im ugly.

Enter: pretty girl

Ugly: Oooh.. that girl is pretty. I want to marry her.

Girl: oh, hello there.

Ugly: Yikes! She saw me! [Runs away]
She would never want to marry someone like me. Im too ugly!

Enter bad guy

Bad: Come, my pretty!

Girl: Oh, maybe, Jimmy!

Bad: Okay, but you should marry me because I look good!

Ugly: (aside) aha! She is going to marry him because he looks better. I should talk to her at the Purim party because then I can wear a mask and she wont see that Im ugly!


Everyone in masks. Ugly guy talks to girl

Ugly: yeah so bla bla bla bla bla bla

Girl: oh wow, you are very interesting. What do you look like under that mask?

Ugly: Uh, I have to go

Bad: man what a weirdo

Girl: no, hes really nice!

Bad: Who are you calling nice, missus?!

Girl follows the ugly guy

Girl: Come on, let me see who you are!

Ugly: o! Im too ugly for you to see.

Girl: come on! (rips off mask)

Ugly: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Girl: well, you are very ugly, but that doesnt matter because I love you.

Everyone: woooooooooooooo.

Ugly: Really?!

Girl: Yes. Lets get married.

Ugly: wooooooooo. Okay.

(marriage music)

They kiss (only on the cheek, but still wooooooo). Bad guy hears the woo.

Bad: Wait a minute, why did everyone say woo?!

Girl: I love this man and were getting married!

Bad: deowdhaeifuhsehifjaehfag, what?! But hes so ugly!

Girl: well duh, but hes still nice! And thats what matters!

Bad: Oh yeah?! Well I wont give up without a fight! (whips out his sword)

Girl: Oh my!

Ugly: Oh yeah?! Well, youre so little, that Im going to say, why you little!

(whips out his sword as well)

They fight. Ugly man is winning.

Ugly: And now, I will kill you so that you never bother us again!

Bad: Okay hey look, a happy ending!

Ugly: Where? Where? looks around)

Bad: There! (and he kills him with his sword)

Ugly: Nooooooooooooooooooo! (blam! falls)

Girl: How could you! Now I cant marry anybody!

Bad: Well, you can marry me

Girl: Who wants to marry a bad person like you?

Bad: Thats not fair!

(Girl punches bad guy in the face and he dies.)

Girl: The moral to the story is that violence does not solve anything. Because of violence I lost two suitors, one potential husband, and I broke a nail. So dont be violent.

Posted by: Smoooth Henry

Prose (December 21st, 2004)