Itís my first visit to Parkside and the restaurant is empty. The hostess, who doubles as the only server, seems relieved to have some company. Within ten minutes of seating, I know her childrenís names, her pet peeves, and her favorite songs. I donít know, unfortunately, that the kitchen is out of roast beef. Several minutes after my party has placed our orders, the server returns to inform us ... Continue Reading
While certainly more recent than many of the titles I could cover for DOS Reboot, this five-part look at forgotten or obsolete video games would be incomplete without a second look at the life-simulation game that started it allóMaxisí original The Sims. My CD-Rom copy was found, dusty and forgotten, in the same pile of games that yielded Freddy Pharkas, Kingís Quest, and other hearty, so I loaded ... Continue Reading
Face it, itís swell being part of a group; going to a movie alone sucks (unless of course it is an adult movie theatre, where etiquette demands personal space), and going to a bar alone is boring, and slightly creepy. Itís easy to overcome that drab solitude by establishing yourself as part of a stable, a time-honored tradition followed by activists and professional wrestlers alike. It may be ti ... Continue Reading
1. Black pants. Above all, black pants.
2. Wear clothes that fit. Anything else looks sloppy.
3. Button-down shirts add a touch of class even to a man who has none. T-shirts are boring unless you've made them yourself or unless you're packing serious muscles.
4. Cut your damn hair.
5. Polyester means never having to say, "where's the iron?"
6. Ankle socks can make or break y ... Continue Reading
I do very few things well. I am not a good driver, I do not know how to play video games, I cannot parallel park, and I can hold my liquor about as well as my grandma (we split a can of Miller High Life when we want to get crunked). However, there is one thing I do really well: lose weight. On several occasions, I have lost over 30 pounds in fewer than eight weeks. I gain it back when low weight i ... Continue Reading
7/31 The Oranges Band, Marked Men, Sick Sick Birds, and The Mean Spirits @ The Ottobar
8/1 Oneida, The Apes and Awesome Color @ The Warehouse Next Door
8/2 Dave Pajo, Arbouretum, Holly Thosby, and Religious @ The Talking Head
8/2 Ted Leo and the Rx, Jai Alai Savant, and Georgie James @ The Ottobar
8/3 High Places, Bucks & Gallants, and Kitty Porn @ 3rd Floor 3rd Door
8/4 Plastic L ... Continue Reading
The summer heat can be a bitch, or turn you into one, depending on your general disposition. But the true heroes/heroines of summer have discovered a way to beat the heat, quench their thirst, satisfy their sweet tooth, and get pretty freakin' drunk, all in one fell swoop. Are you ready for this? I don't think you are, but you should read on nonetheless. El Suave hath arrived!
1 ... Continue Reading
Welcome to the first installment in ďDOS Reboot,Ē a five-part odyssey to revisit beloved video games from the 1990s.
As a member of the first generation raised on Atari, Nintendo, Sega, and home PCs, I played a ton of video games throughout my childhood. Some were so good, I lost sleep over them. Some were so bad, I sold them at the local GameStop. Most of them are now available online, for fre ... Continue Reading
I found this piece while perusing some old files. It was written nearly two years ago, but I have adjusted dates for current publication. Other than those tweaks, it remains as is. If references to trends and fashions seem out-of-date it's purely because they are. To make this more relevant, switch "Friendster" to "Myspace" and pretend you're in a timewarp.
Blame it on the shortened hems or ... Continue Reading
I would like to thank David R. Usher, President of the Missouri Coalition for Fathers and Children, for paying heed to the frightening memo I passed on to him. Please refer to his April 12th blog entry; The Hazards of Duke: Predatory Feminism. Yes, across this great nation women and their bamboozled male supporters are forming rabid she-wolf packs, ostensibly to 'take back the night' from sensib ... Continue Reading