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The Beastie Boys are back. Having been rather quiet since 2004’s To the 5 Boroughs, one would not have been too far off the mark thinking they were finished with the whole making music thing. For all intents and purposes, they might as well be. For better or worse, they are now a nostalgia act; their new album The Mix-Up is a poor entry in an otherwise interesting and fun two decades of pop culture goofiness.

The Mix-Up is not a desperate attempt at maintaining relevance in the post-September 11th music world where non-Top 40 artists arguably take their craft more seriously. The Beasties, increasingly proud of their social consciences, tried that… and failed with their 2003 anti-war jingle “In a World Gone Mad.” Thankfully, The Mix-Up is far from political.

The Mix-Up is a full length album of songs similar to the instrumental interludes found on Check Your Head and Ill Communication. Why they thought it a good idea to copy what are essentially toss-off jams wedged between hit songs and make an album of similar tracks is anyone’s guess. Yes, the Beastie Boys eschewed rhymes and samples for this album. Yes, the result is best described as mind-numbing. Each song consists of the repetition of a single, simple theme repeated for roughly three and a half minutes. Almost all of the songs are at the same tempo.

The album begins with handclaps and a not-so-subtle hint at “I Want to Take You Higher” by Sly & the Family Stone. Sadly, such an auspicious start conflicts with the sluggish monotony of the whole affair—and among turds, even shards of glass look like gems. “Off the Grid” is one such track. It begins with a tepid jam that gets electrified with a catchy, fuzzed-out melody that…that…that… frustratingly repeats itself until the end of the song.

All in all, there’s nothing groundbreaking, interesting, or fun about The Mix-Up; it’s just another example of a band’s inexorable march toward irrelevance.

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